Perfect World
by highland-daughter
Summary: "I need to hold onto you. I just can't let you go." Street wasn't sure how to move on when he couldn't let go. He knew what he had to do, but first he had to say goodbye. !Complete! Post-movie, Character Death


_**Disclaimer:** All rights belong to the respective owners/creators. I own nothing and no profit is being made.  
**Rating:** T_

_**Warning:** Contains language and character death._

_**Author:** Something I was inspired to write while listening to Simple Plan's "Perfect World" while my roommate was watching the movie._

_**oOoOoOo**_

_I never could have seen this far_

_I never could have seen this coming_

_It seems like my world's falling apart_

_Why is everything so hard_

_I don't think that I can deal_

_With the things you said _

_They just won't go away_

Street walked through the rows of stones. Some marble others granite. All held the same purpose. Marking the place where someone was laid to rest. Someone who had been a friend. A parent. A sibling. A loved one. Street wondered how many people came here every day just to stare at a stone that was meant to represent a person they'd lost. God knew he'd only been to this particular graveyard once. The day they'd buried Brian Gamble.

They. Now that made him laugh. The only people who'd been at Gamble's so called funeral had been him and a handful of people. None of whom had known the real Gamble. They'd all known the cop killer. The traitor.

Street's throat tightened and his heart seemed to stutter in his chest. He knew the real Gamble. The so called hot-shot SWAT officer. The man who'd served in the SEALs with him. The man who'd saved his life at least a hundred times. A man who'd loved kids and laughed at the stupidest of jokes. Street knew the real Gamble. He also knew that the real Gamble had died long before that night in the train yard. The real Gamble had died that day in the locker room. The day Street had picked his job over his friend. His partner.

He could still remember what Gamble had said to him that day. The way the man had looked at him. He stilled remembered the venom in Gamble's words when the man had shoved him against the mirror. _"Fuck you. And SWAT." _He shouldn't have let Gamble walk away the way he had. If he could he'd go back and change everything. He'd walk away with Gamble. He'd pick Gamble over the cage. Over SWAT.

As he reached Gamble's grave, Street found it a little harder to breath. Staring down at the polished granite he knew no one had been here since the day they'd laid Gamble to rest. Rest…now that was a ridiculous way of saying it. They'd buried a corpse. Nothing more. There'd been nothing left of the person he'd known. The person he'd cared so much for. Even after everything Gamble had done, Street couldn't bring himself to hate the man.

Drawing a deep breath, Street knelt down in the grass, reaching out to brush away the leaves that had fallen at the base of the stone. "Hey, buddy," he said softly, fingers lingering against the cold stone. "Finally found the courage to come talk to you."

_I used to think that I was strong_

_Until the day it all went wrong_

_I think I need a miracle to make it through  
I wish that I could bring you back_

_I wish that I could turn back time_

'_Cause I can't let go, I just can't find my way_

_Without you I just can't find my way_

Courage.

That was something Street found he had very little of these days. He had lots of bravado and could easily fake feeling tougher than he was. But at the end of the day he knew the truth. He was a broken, empty shell of the man he'd once been. Ever since that night he hadn't been the same. He still had nightmares of watching Gamble fall. Of watching, helpless, as the train wheels crushed the man's skull. Hell he could almost hear the sickening crunch even now.

Clearing his throat he focused on the headstone, on the letters spelling out Gamble's name.

"I…I'm so sorry for the way things played out, Bri…" He moved his hand, fingertips following the stone to the trace Gamble's name. "I never meant…I never wanted it to end that way."

His vision blurred for a moment and it took a second for him to realize that he was crying. Tears rolled down his face, dripping from his chin and landing on his jean clad thighs. Sniffling a bit, he reached up and wiped the tears away.

"There's so much I would change if I could," he continued, feeling his chest tighten even as his words broke on a sob. "I never…I never wanted…to…to hurt you…Brian…"

He drew a shaky breath and closed his eyes. He hadn't counted on this being so hard. He let out a soft sound, tears falling freely down his face. As he opened his eyes he was amazed he could still see Gamble's name through the tears. "I'm so…so fucking sorry…" he sobbed as he hung his head, hand covering his eyes. "I didn't mean…to…to kill you, Brian…fuck I didn't mean…I just wanted you to…to…stop…"

A broken sound tore free of his chest and he continued crying, body shaking and heart breaking all over again. When he managed to look up at that damn stone again he let out a whimper. "I'm sorry…" he whispered, tears still rolling down his face, as he pulled something from his pocket and laid it by the stone. "I should have…should have picked you. You…You should have been first…not SWAT or the department…you. My partner. My…My best fucking friend…and I fucking let you down…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

Street closed his eyes for a moment, pulling the 9mm from the waistband of his jeans. "I can't do this anymore, Brian…" He hiccupped a bit, thumbing the safety off. "I can't keep fucking lying…I'm not okay…I'm not…not the same without you…I just…I can't…"

He lifted the gun, pressed it against his temple, and drew a stuttering breath. "I love you, Brian."

As his finger tightened on the trigger he swore he heard Gamble's voice whisper I love you too, Jimbo. His last conscious thought before the bullet slammed home was that at least he and Gamble would be together again.

_I don't know what I should do now_

_I don't know where I should I go_

_I'm still here waiting for you_

_I'm lost when you're not around_

_I need to hold onto you_

_I just can't let you go_

When Street's body was found a few hours later, the woman who found him was horrified. She called 911 and stood there, staring down at the young man who obviously hadn't wanted to live without whoever was buried at that grave. While waiting for the police she noticed the object resting against the gravestone. Without touching anything she looked closer and found it was a photograph.

Two men sitting by a pool table. Both smiling and looking beyond happy.

_In a perfect world,_ she thought as approaching sirens filled the air, tears filling her eyes. _They would still be like that. Happy and alive._

_**oOoOoOo**_

_**Author:** So there it is guys. Not sure if it's what you expected or not but it's what my plot bunnies demanded I write. Feel free to leave a review and let me know what you thought._


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